Saturday, December 20, 2008

the blues....

My husband works 12 hour shifts plus OT and won't have a day off until after New Years. Yes, we are very grateful he has a good job and has provided for us well, which makes me feel guilty for complaining at all! So, I have that blues thing going on, and feel the need to vent and not keep it bottled up inside! There are still things to get done, alone. Cards are made, but must be addressed and mailed. Things I wanted to make, due to procrastination will not get done, this year, oh well.
Then I'll get to be alone some more, with the exception of a son or two who may stop by and visit for a while on Christmas day. What I find most hurtful is...would you believe I have four brothers, sister-in-laws, a sister and brother-in-law, a multitude of nieces and nephews, and great nieces and nephews - some I do not even know, but we no longer associate because the glue (my Mother) who held us together, has been gone for 11 years! Stupid, sad, and lonely! I gave up trying when my children made me look in the mirror and I saw how hard it made me cry to bang my head against the wall for days at a time! I am so tired of being lonely and depressed.

Life is not perfect, but as my dear Mother always said ' when you think you have it bad, someone always has it worse, so don't waste time feeling sorry for yourself!' You're right Mom, thank you, I love you, and Merry Christmas!!!

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