Change

It is indeed time for a change. 

The Serenity Prayer is correct and I must apply it to my life.  I want to stop crying about my life, and give my family a break!!!  You are more important than all this other crap I have been spewing, maybe I just needed to purge my negative feelings and try harder to be happy....less talk and more action, photos, art, and most of all love!

Here is a close up of the ornament exchange I participated in some years back with Kathy Torrence and a bunch of women she knows.  I enjoyed making these and intend to make more with Cynthia, my son's girlfriend for 2013 Christmas season.

This is the beaded hair decoration I made for my daughter-in-law Melissa.  She was not able to use the entire piece along with her veil, so one of the wired beads framed the veil and looked very nice in her beautiful hair!  What a beautiful bride she was, and we are so happy to have her in our family.

 Some macrame' key chains I enjoyed making.

Wire baskets - made out of hardware cloth and added some inexpensive beads for color.

A favorite of mine....an altered tape dispenser I use almost every day!

Collage

Here are a variety of cards I enjoyed making for all occasions...

Heat embossed and Mosaic

Flora and Fauna

A few more heat embossed

Just one of the cards I made with my collection of Dog stamps

An Angel Exchange Project I participated in many years ago with Milliande's Art Group.

A small collection of ephemera that I enclosed in the Angel's book box...papers, fibers, and a handful of small things to make more art with.  She flew across the ocean to a fellow artist in England, I hope she enjoyed it.  Unfortunately, the one I was to receive got lost in the mail....I would have treasured it always.

These photos are a small collection of some of my projects, there are many more.  I have been making a variety of other items with my sewing machine recently...all kinds of bags, and some clothing for my grandchildren.

looks like an interesting magazine to find...

     My first attempt at 'off the cuff ' sewing, I am happy to show.  The fabric is hand dyed muslin, the trims are gathered fabric, the flower,as well; double-sided ribbon machine embroidered onto the dress, and the lined yoke has netting on top of it just in the front. Since I cut the bottom of the dress on the bias, it made a nice full circle skirt! I made it just to see if I could.  I am happy with it!

i wish i may, i wish i might, have my wish come true tonight:

for my children to know how very much i love and respect them
: to accept me as i am
: to lend a hand now and then...they do try in many ways, i know...they are embarrassed, and are too ashamed to come over.  it's just that i can't handle this old house by myself...just now and then would be nice, especially for holidays when they all come round, it's just too hard.  i try, and so does my lenny, but i end up getting hurt and try putting on a good face when they visit.  people who have arthritis and fibromyalgia know what i mean.  you fall apart before hand with anxiety, and afterwards you break down physically and crying your heart out in pain, loneliness, and depression.
: to see i am unable to do what they want...they have no idea how bad things really are, and believe me i hate talking about it to them just as much as they hate to hear it, so we don't.  but do they really think it just disappears if it is not acknowledged?
: to love me as i am, as i do you.  as Mom Mom always said, and i say now, "do unto others, as you would have others do unto you".
: to respect me as their mother...don't raise your voice at me anymore, please stop, you have no idea how much it hurts and only makes things worse.  please be nice, let's talk...i will listen.
: to love and respect their father, too...he has worked so hard all of his life to be here for us.  we are all he has ever wanted, and he misses all of you so very much.  call him, hug him, show him you care.

i love you,
mama

why today you may ask, am i thinking and saying these things?  i had a hearing today for ssi, i won't get it, but i tried...to help pay for my medical issues.  it was humiliating, embarrassing,  and so belittling.  so writing it here, i know no one hears me either, but i can pretend i am sharing it with someone.